The bass life, the good life
November 17, 2006
Seeing that I’m a bass player, I have decided to inspire & electrify with insight as to why the bass life is the good life. Here are, in descending order, 6 imposing reasons why being a bass player has the greatest advantages amongst residents of the music kingdom.
6. The Hook – Everybody whistles bass lines. How many thousands of times have you heard someone say, “I can’t get that bass line out of my head”?
5. Rocker Stance – The Bass player’s right arm naturally stays in the same position for the entirety of a gig, allowing for a killer motionless rocker stance, energizing the room, and lighting the perverbial “fire” amongst the crowd.
4. Satisfaction – Bass solos have the ability to fill an individuals musical needs for the day. This is often demonstrated in those who leave the room in the middle of a solo, recognizing that even half of the bass solo is all they need to be satisfied musically.
3. Perfect Positioning – Bass players are positioned gingerly between 1000 watt Marshall Stacks and open Drum kits, generally snare side, providing a sonic sweet-spot of 125db, directly to the cochlea, in excess of 90 minutes.
2. Stand-Out Ability – The bass is the only instrument that most people can’t pick out of a song. Who says being covert and spy-like is a bad thing?
1. Honor – It’s said that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. I’ve got two words for you: “AIR BASS.” Nuff said.
Requests for bass lessons may be submitted to thegoodlife@bass.com.
November 17, 2006 at 9:21 pm
Holy sweet mercy mother of zeus. I laughed out loud is such a way that the room stared at me. I couldn’t justify my laugh though. I just had to say, Josh Motlong…
#4 —> incredible. The sophisticated sarcasm is brilliant.
November 19, 2006 at 2:04 am
I like bass…fishing?
November 19, 2006 at 10:28 pm
You forgot:
Thicker strings mean you don’t break as many like on those sissy guitars.
AND
Bass players are just drummers…that can read!
November 20, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Fantastic! I’m still laughing so that I have nothing else to say.
December 1, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Son, I’m just grateful that God’s let me live long enough to laugh my _ _ _ _ off at your creativity. You need to become a stand up comedian for highly intelligent people who can appreciate the diversity of a Bass guitar . I love your deep insight and ability to communicate it. Love you, Dad
March 22, 2007 at 10:06 pm
you know what…you’re right. when i play a gig and the bass player solos…i’m pretty much ignoring it. i don’t think that my perception of the musical god likeness of the bass guitar has reached my full capacity of understanding in the terms of notation and frequency awareness and complexity of brown note to non-brown note ratio. i know you guys no what i’m talking about.
April 18, 2007 at 9:41 pm
[...] wrote a hilarious post on bass players (more on his blog to [...]
May 15, 2008 at 9:51 am
this is great! i’m a bass player and this is so funny! I’ll show this to every persone who’ll tell me that guitar is better than bass (before killing that person!)